"I felt reprived and virtuous. Now I could sit in my own flat by myself and be pragmatic. Sometimes the best company is your own" - Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body.
I am beginning to really enjoy my own company. This way I do not have to explain how I applied for the card in November and how I am in such a pitiful state and how terrified I am. It sickens me to narrate the story over and over, in response to hopeful, 'How is work treating you?" enquiries.
It is finally snowing out, and since I never have to leave the house, I am thoroughly enjoying it. Like looking into an urban snow globe, without having to deal with wet boots and a red nose. But today I did step out for a little bit, a quick emergency trip to the grocery store. A salad box and a chocolate bar. And I zipped home. But now I don't want to eat a salad, I want a greasy loaded hamburger, yes this is what I truly crave at the moment.
According to my calculations, I should have a definite answer between tomorrow and Friday. Yes, we have known this all along but it sounds more credible when attached to an "according to my calculation". Leelee I don't want you to see these writings anymore. They are no longer happy and entertaining, they're black, bleak desperate words strung together in my moments of anxiety! Stop reading and come back after a year or two!
Xoxo,
Gossip Girl
Monday, January 14, 2008
my music is where i'd like you to touch
Leelee…so you tell me your damn computer won’t arrive for another week, that’s BS. But at least this way we both have something to look forward to the end of this week. I will find out if I get to keep my job and you will have a means to stalk people online! Yes I am listening to Cansei de ser sexy and actually just switched to New Young Pony Club. And before these two it was Amr Diab. You have def. influenced or rather created my interest in listening to good music.
It’s almost 2:00 in the afternoon and several emails, notes and phone calls later, I still have no card. But I have started calling upon the Hindu gods this time to take my side. Soon I might just have to put on my yamaka and try and recall those prayers from Thanksgiving at San Francisco.
I am finally down to my very last frozen meal and very last two breakfast bars. But I am shying away from a trip to the grocery store because a) I don’t want to carry home heavy bags in the cold b) I have no appetite these days c) I have no money. C) should have come before a) and b). So what do I do with my time you ask? I watch fashion shows after fashion shows on Vogue.com and then I try out outfits that I pull and put together from my rather spacious walk-in closet. Earlier I wore a scarf and bag and heels and looked a lot like Lilly Vanderwoodsen. And before that it was Marc Jacobs meets cowgirl with the plaid arrangement. Yes, I am losing my mind slowly but surely.
I think I might stroll by the lake later or maybe stop at the coffee shop. Either way I will only have two things on my mind, You and my EAD. Oh and listen to this! Apparently, the immigration officer in-charge of processing my papers is called Leah! What meaningful co-incidence. It better amount to something I tell you :’(
Xoxo,
Gossip Girl.
It’s almost 2:00 in the afternoon and several emails, notes and phone calls later, I still have no card. But I have started calling upon the Hindu gods this time to take my side. Soon I might just have to put on my yamaka and try and recall those prayers from Thanksgiving at San Francisco.
I am finally down to my very last frozen meal and very last two breakfast bars. But I am shying away from a trip to the grocery store because a) I don’t want to carry home heavy bags in the cold b) I have no appetite these days c) I have no money. C) should have come before a) and b). So what do I do with my time you ask? I watch fashion shows after fashion shows on Vogue.com and then I try out outfits that I pull and put together from my rather spacious walk-in closet. Earlier I wore a scarf and bag and heels and looked a lot like Lilly Vanderwoodsen. And before that it was Marc Jacobs meets cowgirl with the plaid arrangement. Yes, I am losing my mind slowly but surely.
I think I might stroll by the lake later or maybe stop at the coffee shop. Either way I will only have two things on my mind, You and my EAD. Oh and listen to this! Apparently, the immigration officer in-charge of processing my papers is called Leah! What meaningful co-incidence. It better amount to something I tell you :’(
Xoxo,
Gossip Girl.
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